I feel frustrated and angry today. I wish I could grasp a morsel of serenity to bring myself down from these inefficient feelings and return to my usually calmer state, but I just feel like tearing something up or punching someone out. Today I am tired of being strong and I am tired of rolling up my sleeves. My neck feels tense, my face feels hot and my brow is furrowed. I am embarassed by this defeatist attitude - although I know it to be temporary - but it was there when I woke up this morning and I feel as though my anguish wants to hide in tiger's clothing, so as to puff myself up and bare my teeth.

Last night I had two awful phone calls sandwiched between two soft, loving ones. I am very grateful for those and to the beautiful friends who called, but the awful calls still linger in my thoughts. I suppose the trick now will be to master my anger, turn it into power, then strength, then back to calm. I will do my best to remember the magical voices I heard last night, and the magical tinkering of the xylophone in my ears. I will try to shed the tiger suit and be my little rabbit self again.