Rushing home from Ikea last night, I found myself with barely thirty minutes to get dressed and get ready for the holiday party. In typical Camille form, I procrastinated further by unraveling my new purchases, which include a new dishware set, a small rug for my room, a sleek lamp for the kitchen counter, a plain white bath mat, a mirror & shelf combo thingy in dark wood for the front entrance, curtains for the living room and my room, new shower curtains, a potted plant, and a big wood frame for the Jordan Bent painting that I received last week. That is the most exciting of my purchases, as the frame showcases the piece so beautifully. Anyway, so all of a sudden I realize that I'm already fifteen minutes late and I'm still in jeans, so I spent the next few moments running around and throwing clothing around like confetti. In the end I found myself in a short, flouncy black velvet skirt, an emerald green silk camisole and a black, off-the-shoulder shirt with big earrings made of peacock feathers (courtesy of the amazingly talented Jewels). I was huffing and puffing as I quickly ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth, just in time to hear the cab incessantly buzzing at my door. In one clean swoop, I miraculously managed to grab my coat, my heels, the sushi & samosas from the fridge, the beer, my contribution to the gift exchange, and finally my coat, boots and purse. I was hastily thrown together, but at least I was out the door and on my way. What a girl I am sometimes!

It ended up being a nice gathering. The folks there were all wonderfully dressed, although oddly all in socks and stockings. That is where I gave the poor hostess a smile and a firm indication that the heels were part of the outfit, thank you very much. They aren't exactly the Manolo Blahniks that Carrie has to check at the door in one of the Sex & the City's episodes, but you get the picture. She squirmed but allowed me to tiptoe my way around the apartment for the rest of the night as the other shoeless women raised their eyebrows. But really, everyone was quite unpretentious and funny, and I quickly felt comfortable with everyone there. Sometimes my court-jester side comes out in the insecurity of meeting strangers, and thankfully it was well-received.

Still on the quest for calm, I had brunch this morning with someone I hadn't seen in a very long time, someone whom I'd had an uncomfortable conflict with when we last parted. We met in the sunny Black Tomato and found ourselves alone in the entire restaurant for nearly an hour and a half, as though some forces were shielding the place from outside noise, influence or stress. I felt peaceful the entire time, as I felt it a natural and necessary progression for me to see this person again. I felt none of the pain, hurt and longing that had once plagued me; instead, he seemed real again, unintimidating and more transparent. In one meeting this person, who'd somehow been blown up into near-myth status in the mystery of our lack of communication in past months, became human and more proportioned to reality. The wonder and questions that once loitered around my brain softly evaporated as we ate the wonderful food and looked each other straight in the eye. I doubt the meeting was half as revelatory for him as it was for me, but the peace I reaped this morning was not attached to his own reaction anyway. Simply put, I feel comfortable, rested and of clear mind and spirit. I wish only the same to anyone who might be feeling troubled in a similar situation, and offer this personal realization as hope and courage for their own resolutions.

In the vein of hope and courage, please send some nice thoughts for my grand-maman, who has been facing some major health challenges in the past week. I adore her and want her to be well - that is my only real christmas wish.