i simply wanted to take a few moments to thank everyone who's shown their love and support in various ways. i know circumstances have created unbalanced friendships in which people around me are doing most of the work! please know that it's supremely appreciated and i count myself lucky to have such wonderful people around me.

if i've been silent or hard to reach, please bear with me for just a bit longer. mom is back home now for her final days and moments, and it's a pretty sacred time for my father, sisters and i. when we're not caring for her or each other, we're tucked away in corners trying to get some rest. i'm particularly pensive and quiet in these kinds of moments, so thanks for being especially understanding about that.

i've had a lot of people wonder if they are saying or doing "the right thing". it's simple, really - first and foremost, follow your gut and do what feels natural to you. that said, just getting regular e-mails, letters, phone messages on voicemail or text messages on my cell keep me afloat. a special request, if you can manage to get over the lack of dialogue for now, is to keep letting me know about the goings-on in your lives, even the good stuff! even though i'm not ready to open the doors to my heart yet, i still love you all very much and crave to hear updates about what's going on beyond this strange realm i'm in. it will be hard for me to reply for a bit, and i'm not sure i have much energy to even provide updates on how i'm doing or how my mom's health is on any given day, but i'm always buoyed by your own news and thoughts.

i will say this: it has been an incomparable time for us all. i'm overwhelmed at times, or frustrated, and even numb. the ebb and flow of emotions never end and hardly change in intensity. the things i've felt, said, seen, heard and even smelled in the past month are beyond explanation now, so i'm grateful for your discretion in letting me keep that under wraps for now.

it's an odd time, that's beyond doubt; coupled with my shared 30th birthday in a few days and Julie's departure for the democratic republic of congo in a few weeks, it's surreal at the best of times. but again, let me express how much your kindness, compassion and gestures big and small have meant to me. i will never forget it, and hopefully in time, i will acquire a normalcy that will allow us to reconnect in a more tangible way, making things right in the world once again.

much love,
camille xoxo