Barking up the wrong tree

I'm so angry.

Chris' apartment was broken into yesterday afternoon while he was away at work meetings. It was a quick, in-and-out job - they busted the front door and took off with his Imac laptop, his beautiful (and very expensive) camera, as well as his DVD/PlayStation unit. When I arrived last night I saw the pieces of wood scattered on the floor, the missing items, Chris sitting dejectedly as the police officer spoke. I know I'm an idealist and I know I can be naive sometimes, but I simply can't understand why people would target someone like Chris, living in a small, very modest apartment. Someone like Chris, who isn't some big executive with material goods coming out of their asses. Don't misunderstand me - no one deserves to get ripped off. But big parts of Chris' life were in that computer; his thesis research and work, work-related documents, address book, special e-mails that meant something to him, and more importantly years worth of photographs he has taken during trips and other events. He documented his friend's wedding and also the building of his kayak this summer from start to finish. He took so many great photos of friends, family, his cats and of us. It is devastating to lose those concrete items that can often replace a limited memory. Jesus Christ.

In addition to this, it is so damn creepy to think of this person/these people walking around his apartment in the presence of his cats (thank god they weren't hurt), roughly sifting through his papers, his drawers, his closet. The person or people involved saw the photographs of us on Chris' fridge, and more disturbingly they will see the photographs of us and Chris' life on the computer. For this occasion I feel tempted to throw any Buddhist beliefs (I guess I have some work to do) and throw punches and spit on these cowardly thieves if I could.

In consequence, Chris has to make arrangements with his e-mail account so they won't have access to his personal information, and I've even had to change some information on this blog, such as Manon's apartment's location and other personal things, just in case they see my blog address in the web browser's history. It would be really disconcerting to know that someone involved in this crime could access and view information and images regarding Chris, my friends, my family and my life in general.

I don't even know how to properly express myself right now. These kinds of people have no conscience and probably believe in some kind of primal, Darwinian way of life - survival of the fittest. But I just can't help but feel like they were barking up the wrong tree. Chris doesn't live in an excessive manner and there is nothing luxurious about his possesions or lifestyle. I maintain that no one should be ripped off of their belongings, but this is ridiculous. Of all the places in the Glebe, of all the apartments in his building - what a joke.

They may be laughing, they might feel victorious, but I believe their lives of secrecy, cowardice and theft must bring about such a superficial happiness and temporary security, and in the end they are paying the price. Somehow, I have to believe that. If I've thrown my Buddhist tendencies out the window in a way, I still cling to the purist idea of a greater karma, a larger lesson, and a consequence in response to an action.

Only this thought brings me comfort, dignity and a return to peace. I may not have perfected my reactions to such difficult situations, but my meditation and teachings have taught me some things. I suddenly feel grateful for many things, and trust that the cloudy water will settle again.

To the Ven. Chunen Chiden, to Chris, and even to the person or people responsible for this -

Gassho.

(Gassho (gah-'show): a zen affirmation of life from an intention of humility, gratitude, and mindfulness; summarized as: Relax Reflect Refresh Renew.)